How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
