Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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