i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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