i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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