if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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