Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize