well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
