Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This girl is more easily done than said...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
