so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize