i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
40s are totally the cure
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
