john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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