rhymes with "ouble enetration"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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