Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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