There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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