I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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