Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
