Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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