mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
