i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
