Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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