also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
