Say something about gay babies.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
