no, he came in my armpit
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
