I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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