Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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