No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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