You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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