We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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