You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
