my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize