you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Send help, water and tortillas.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
