You're completely useless in the revolution.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
