Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
