So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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