Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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