True but thats because hes a fetus.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
