My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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