Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't deserve a penis
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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