Will you blow on my dice?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
