If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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