i don't like sucking hair
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
