I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
