This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i believe in u and ur pee
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize