Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize