Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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