we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize