Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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