I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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