im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
