i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
