Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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