He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
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2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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