I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize