I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
