Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize