he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
