Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize