you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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