So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
