I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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