You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
